Exploring the right fit, learning from stepping stones and
keeping focused on the ultimate goal…
I must admit, ever since I was a little kid I wanted to “change
the world”. I think the cool kids now calling "being epic". I didn’t know how, but I knew I wanted my life to have an impact on
others. This is mostly rooted in my Christian upbringing and modeled heavily by
my parents. Despite growing up in a low-income inner city neighborhood, my
parents strived to raise “model children” and we were often regarded as “good
kids” in school. My dad worked a day job
to keep a roof over our heads, but he also worked multiple side gigs to make
sure we had more than enough. My mom, who’s a bonafide homemaker, made sure my
three sisters and I had tons of support in school. She was more than just a “PTA parent/soccer mom". She put in hours of volunteer time to support our us and our schools. She was
president of the band boosters throughout most of our Daniels sibling tenure in the
marching band, she sold snacks out the trunk of her car after school to raise
money for our band uniforms, and she even organized serving “lunch” to hundreds
of students in night school working hard to make up classes and/or to get ahead
in school. On top of all of this, our family remained active in our church. Dad
served as a deacon and head of the finance committee, and for many years led
our church’s youth group on Thursday nights, renting a van each week and
picking up kids to bring them to our church for bible studies. Honestly, I can’t
really recount all the things my parents did to support us and our community,
but I am extremely grateful for their influence on my life. And not at all
surprised that my sisters and I all chose “helping professions” for our degree
programs and overall careers. Sure, we had big dreams (I wanted to be an OB/GYN
or Neonatologiost, but my first Bio class in college encouraged me to simply
focus on my education major J),
but I think in our core, we are most satisfied when we can see tangible
real-life examples of our impact on others. We have about 8 advance degrees
between us, and more to come I’m sure. Not bad for 4 kids raised by teen
parents without any formal education beyond high school or community college.
When I assess where I am regarding my goal to “change the
world”, I tend to graph out my activities into four categories. Job, Career,
Vocation, and Calling. These four overlap in many ways, but it has helped me
reframe my thinking when faced with difficult challenges, job offers, project
work, volunteerism, etc.
JOBS
Jobs are just that… work that pays. No need to look for any intrinsic
qualities, just get it done, earn that check, and move on! We’ve all had those
types of experiences at various times. For some, this may simply be that first
job as a teenager. For me, it all started as a Cashier at Boston Market at the
tender age of 16 and lasted only a few short months… I quickly shifted to
working retail at a small men’s clothing store and eventually landed a job at
Banana Republic a few short months later (This is explains my love for classic
dapper men’s fashion). The truth of the matter is many people can simply work “jobs”
for their entire lives. But, the concept of a “job” is all about perspective,
from the minimum wage worker, to a high powered executive making millions.
Viewing what you do for work as a simple “job” will always yield minimal
satisfaction. I believe MLK said it best in his famous Street Sweeper speech https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlV_ODrEL0k.
Now we all know there are tedious tasks required to complete our work. Those
can be considered jobs, but you’re struggling to find any level of excitement
for the work you do throughout the entire day, it may be time to consider what
is next…
CAREER
I’m essentially 3-4 years into my second career. I finished
a masters nearly 10 years ago (yikes) and thoroughly enjoyed my time working in
higher education. I enjoyed counseling and advising students, I enjoyed
supervising student employees… Hell, I actually enjoyed the difficult conduct
conversations with students in our disciplinary process. But most of all, I
loved the connections, mentorship, and professional advocacy work that drives
the discipline of student affairs administrators. I attended conferences twice
a year, and even held a national role supporting our new professionals and
graduate students. In many ways, I felt I my career track was heading for Dean
of Students of VP of Student Affairs. But, something in my heart of hearts felt
like there had to be more for me to do. I struggled with figuring that out, until
I found my way into a corporate HR role. I felt so much joy making the
transition as many of you that follow me on facebook could tell… (#ilovemyjob
was for once not sarcasm). Now that I’m becoming a seasoned HR professional, I’m
made some conscious decisions to only sign up for specific projects and roles
that will help me gain skills for the future. Sounds simple enough, right?
However, as you can imagine, in corporate world, it can be very easy to sign up
for “high visibility” projects to get noticed by others. I actually view
projects like these as “jobs”, regardless of the outcome. I just can’t bring
myself to be fully invested in projects that don’t align with my passion, and
no one should. Trust, if you’re not passionate about a role or a project,
someone else will step up. We all have to roll up our sleeves from time to
time. But I’m grateful I’ve had opportunities that have given be intrinsic satisfaction
and had some form of high impact/visibility. The beauty and challenge in
striking this balance: patience and waiting on the right opportunity and
finding smaller projects outside of your current situation to find moments of
joy. And if finding joy in your current situation is just not possible. It may
be time to consider changing your career. Who says you have to stay in the same
career your entire anyway? I’m on my second, and definitely not my last…
VOCATION
One of the concepts I took from my time working at a Jesuit
university was the concept of “Vocation”. Students were often encouraged to
discern what they were “good at”, understanding where the world needs that work
to be done, and focusing energy to find those opportunities. My vocation is
helping others. Plain and simple. I’m a natural networker, I help people
process decisions, and I think I’m pretty good at listening and offering
advice. The complexity is in finding the right time, place, and manner to use
this superpower. My past career in education and even my upbringing has always
included non-profit type work. So, figuring out how to do this while working
full-time and traveling a ton, has been challenging. But, I’ve learn that it is
best to channel your energy in the places that will make the greatest impact
AND give you enough energy and time to rest and recoup. I made the decision to
join the board for a non-profit two years ago, an organization I’ve volunteered
for the past 6.5 years. My involvement has shifted over time, and I’ve grown in
ability to support the organization in different ways. I’m in a position to
give more money that I did when I first started, but I’m in a place where I can’t
commit to volunteering countless hours for our annual festival. I always view “board
member” as a lofty position for non-profits, but it has been fun to see how a
small group of people can have such a large impact on an organization and
ultimately a community. I may not work full-time in the non-profit sector, but
I’m thankful to practice my vocation of helping those in need in the best way I
can right now.
CALLING
Calling is a slightly nuanced term. My Christian background
would say my calling is to follow Christ. But what does that mean besides
following biblical teachings? I grew up in the South as a black gay kid; I
moved across the country and have met lots of people from various backgrounds
and experiences; I work in tech and interact with some of the brightest minds
in the world; and I also see a nation and world that is hurting with injustice
and desperately yearns for healing. What role do I play? The answer is the role
of David. My calling is to be the best and most authentic version of myself. My
calling is to be intentional with my thoughts, words, and deeds. My calling is
to speak out against injustice and listen and share insights with those within my
reach. My calling is to think about how all these life experiences can be
synthesized to create a greater meaning and purpose for those other than myself.
I have a dear friend who I affectionately call my #lifetimefave. We have the
most thoughtful conversations and since the moment we met, we have been kindred
spirits. He’s essentially my platonic husband and he stuck with my crazy
antics. He’s a software engineer and he understands the concept of purpose. He
has some successful start-up ideas, and some that have failed. But he always
stays true to himself in his endeavors. In one our last exchanges he asked me
what time of company I would create if he had endless resources. I mulled on
the idea and said I wasn’t sure, but the question prompted me to think about my
calling and all the experiences and skills I’ve acquired over the years. It
wasn’t very long that a flash bulb went off in my head. My face beamed with
excitement and I sent him a simple text a few days later: “I think I’ve
discovered my life’s calling!” After I explained it to him, he immediately
started suggesting ways to bring this calling to fruition. I explained that I’ll
need a bit more time to percolate on the idea, but I would keep him posted.
Words can’t express how thankful I am for friends like him. I can’t quite share
this calling with others for now, but I can say that I’m very excited to see
what comes of this brainchild and I hope one day it will have a lasting impact
for those who are desperately looking for true change in our world for the
better. More on that for months and years to come. For now…
#PuraVida
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