Pura Vida Series: Prelude

Deciding to visit Costa Rica started with a desire to visit Central America and let’s face it, cheap airfare (thank you Alaska Airlines #iflyalaska). But as the days grew closer, I realized this location is just what I needed to re-center myself and spend some time reflecting on where I am in life right now.

Pura Vida (the Costa Rican motto) translates in English as “pure life”. This phrase is a standard response to “Como estas?” (How are you?), and you will even hear it as you end most conversations with Ticos (term for the Costa Rican citizens) as a casual salutation. It’s clear that simple living and enjoying life as it is dealt to you is common and core to all Ticos. I helps to live in a lush and beautiful area of the world, but still quite admirable.

Regardless, this phrase struck a chord within my inner being. I know, I know. Here goes David overthinking things. But, hey, at least I own it, right? The truth is, while I feel life can be so complicated and nuanced, I strongly desire to live an authentic life or shall I say “Pura Vida”. I prefer to explore what I don’t understand, question what could be, love freely, reduce unnecessary stressors, and try to find ways to coexist with most people around me. On the surface it may appear to be a bit naiveté, but I actually think pursuing moments of mini-utopia can be the healthiest food to the soul. And let's face it, the reality is this pursuit comes with a lot of challenges and I seemed to have faced a few of them more this year compare to those prior. This is a prelude to a few reflections I explored during my travels and the days following. Who knows, maybe I’ll just maintain the PuraVida theme for all future blog posts. But, judging by my infrequent posting, the next series will occur when I take another long vacay. Either way, stay tuned…if you'd like.

#PuraVida

Race, diversity, and dating in the gay community

(This is a mildly edited version of a draft post I wrote and never published back in Jan 2014. Funny to see how perspective and interactions have changed over the past 2 years.) 

I’ve been mulling over how to share my thoughts on this topic for quite some time. Flipping through my high and college photos ignited even more pensive thoughts. Because this post deals with race and dating, it has the potential to be controversial regardless of who reads it. But nonetheless, I think it’s worth putting out there. So here goes…

As I’m sure many of you know, I grew up in the Deep South (Birmingham, Alabama to be exact) where the racial divide is crystal clear: Black people live in the inner city, and white people live in the suburbs, with very few exceptions. I attended all-black public schools, an all-black church, and had only black friends… until my sophomore year in high school.

Like a stereotypical scrawny nerdy kid, I avoided sporting activities. But, I found my fit in leadership activities. Maybe it was due to my dad’s involvement in church youth groups and Sunday school or my mom’s active involvement in school booster activities… who knows. The point is I was “that kid” who was always on student advisory board, class president, student body president, etc etc. By the time I reached high school, I had several mentors who encouraged me to get more involved in activities outside of school and with people from different backgrounds. I had no clue how much those activities would shape my perspective on race & diversity and impact my life.

One specific activity was a week-long camp called Anytown Alabama. Staying true to its name, it was a camp where anybody was welcome and all were encouraged to share their stories, be curious to learn from others, find similarities and differences, and highly encouraged to appreciate and celebrate the uniqueness of each person’s story. I still remember the theme “Each Unique, Together Complete”. By the end of the week, my newly formed family of social misfits were walking around our-wide music festival holding hands and skipping in the streets…gender, race, and orientation was a non-issue for us. Looking back on this, I’m not sure why I didn’t come out of the closet sooner or embrace those specific ideals more in my life. Well I know it had everything to do with fear, religion, and cultural pressures from the black community. Either way, when I reflect on this experience and how I’ve chosen to engage with others in my life, I can’t help but connect this to my perspective on dating and the type of guy with whom I would like to build a life.

My friends jokingly tell me that I tend to go for “white boys”, which statistically happens to be true. BUT, what I value the most is contrast and difference. Have I dated black guys before? YES. In fact, one of my first crushes was a black guy. Admittedly, I tend to go for guys who are lighter than me, which leaves lots of options. The fact of the matter is I live in a very white city and I’m ok with that. I’m used to being the “only black guy” in a group and I’ve grown comfortable enough to the point where I don’t need to have people from the same ethnic background constantly around me to feel comfortable in my own skin. I have to admit, having exposure to more educated and affluent people has definitely shaped my desire to be with someone who is “professional” and can hold his own in a variety of social settings. With all these factors involved, the David dating pool has been heavy on the creme.

I recently ran into a guy at a bar who happened to be biracial. He was a smiling faced gregarious guy like me, and for some reason he felt comfortable bringing up the topic of guys in Seattle and how they respond to black guys. It was quite the hilarious exchange and I can definitely agree with his sentiment. This guys resolves that there are essentially 5 types guys.

There are the “WHITE, ASIAN, LATINO ONLY” boys. These guys tend to make it very clear on dating profiles and in their social interactions that they are not interested in having anything to do with black guys. I kid you not, there are countless guys on match.com that have specifically checked every box except Black/African American in their “who I’m looking for” section. On one hand I commend them for being forward and honest. However, every time I see these posts, I get a mental image of the whites/colored only water fountains of the pre-Jim Crow South. Thankfully, I have pretty thick skin, but it concerns me how these posts impact other guys and influence their dating choices.

There are the “NOT AROUND MY FRIENDS/FAMILY” boys. You catch them looking at you when they don't think anyone else is looking. The mirrors in the gym are my favorite for observing this behavior.  They are willing to go out with you, but only in 1-on-1 situations. After a few dates, you realize you’re kind of a social experiment for them. They aren't 100% attracted to you, but they’ve decided to go out with you because you’re friendlier than the average black guy and they been curious to see what it would be like. Or perhaps they’ve always been attracted to black guys, but they don’t want to deal with friends/family judging them negatively or teasing them for having “jungle fever”. Either way, NEXT!

Next up is the “JUST DON’T GET TOO BLACK” or the “WHERE’S YOUR BLACCENT?” guys. He/we put these guys into the same bucket, because they have the same impact on black guys who don’t fit into a box. They expect you to either fit in with the affluent proper English speaking crowd, or be a caricature of the traditional black culture. These notions can be very subtle but noticeable; peculiar look or eye roll when you have an occasional neck-rolling attitude moment or they make a poor attempt to mimic a sassy black woman’s voice at random moments and all you can do is shake your head. These moments happen in lots of situations, but this category is worth calling out because it requires lots of patience and forgiveness to determine if these are silly moments or a bigger issue below the surface.

Finally, there are the “CUCKOO FOR COCOA PUFFS” boys. While it’s refreshing to meet guys who have a high appreciation for darker skin tones, it can become very uncomfortable when you begin to realize you are dating a guy who’s OBSESSED with your blackness. They seem to be super agreeable and perhaps overly complementary without taking the time to learn more about you as an individual. I find myself conflicted when I meet these types of guys, mostly because they tend to be the only viable options for dating. Similar to the previous category of guys, lots of patience is required.

I know placing guys in these buckets isn’t very fair and is certainly not how I evaluate guys on a regular basis, but I find it fascinating that a random encounter with a fellow black person resulting in us clinking our glasses and (at least on the surface) laughing at these awkward dynamics that exist in our "post-racial" society. In other words... #wegottadobetter

Cruising the Mexican Riviera...vacay recap

It's been a little over a week and I'm finally taking time to write about my last-minute cruise vacation. At first As my fall travels came to an end, I figured a staycation was just what the doctor ordered. But then I saw a email deal pop in the ole inbox and figured "why the hell not??! Let's do it" Fearing there would be lots of hidden fees and costs, I started considering other low-cost vacation options and I realized the cruise would be the best option. I mean, who else would book a cruise by themselves 12 days before setting sail but David?! Random but somewhat related thought...A little over a year ago, I attended a helpful conference hosted by one of my favorite authors who encouraged people to create dramatic and exciting moments in life. I don't think this was exactly what he had in mind, but as I said before "why the hell not?!"

With every new experience comes lots of expectations, reality-checks, and a few unexpected surprises along the way.

1. Despite booking a cruise by myself, I figured I would know at least 1 or 2 people on the boat. It's a small gay world and having live in/near two major westcoast cities, I figured this was a fair assumption. Sure enough, there were a couple familiar faces. Most involved brief chats in passing, but that gave me just enough comfort to let my guard down and enjoy the adventure of getting to know new people throughout the week.

2. Gay cruises have lots of not-so great reputations (sex, drugs, etc etc), but I figured there had to be a good batch of reasonably "normal" guys on the cruise to meet. Both were true. Though thankfully, I didn't encounter too much of the not-so great qualities. I had a fairly friendly roommate (yes, on gay cruises, since there is a high number of singles, they offer shared cabins and match you up with a roommate when you arrive). He's from Australia, and though we had very different sleep schedules, he was cordial and seemed to have a fun time as well. However, the best surprise was when I met a great group of guys at the dog tag party. They were good friends and had all met on previous cruises. An adorable couple of 14 years and an adorable single guy my own age from Canada (more on that later), and another adorable couple of 9 years from the mid-west. They were the epitome of salt-of-the-earth and immediately invited me to become apart of their cruise family. I also met lots of other great people on the cruise, but this group quickly became family in a matter of days.

3. I wanted to do more than just lay by the pool all day and dance all night. Thankfully, the cruise director filled the calendar with lots of cool entertainment. Kathy Griffin was HILARIOUS! I love that she spent time "observing the gays" on the boat and managed to include some pretty funny material to use in her show. There were lots of fun activities planned throughout the day both on the boat at port when we arrived in different cities. Cabo was a one day visit. So, my cruise family and I spent the afternoon at the beach at a fun cantina sipping on libations all day. But in Puerto Varrata we booked a Tequila Tasting excursion and visited some pretty rustic distilleries. Apparently, the best tequila is made with 100% true blue agave and no added sugars. Perhaps it was the multiple shots we had, but I must say that was the best tequila I've ever tasted (hiccup).

I also took some time to reflect as I observed a snapshot of the gay community in this "controlled" environment. Here are few thoughts:

- We spend so much time learning how to fit in a straight world, if feels good to just strip down to your underwear and dance dance dance. LITERALLY. I love that guys of all shapes, ages, and sizes felt so comfortable with their bodies to walk around virtually everywhere in their speedos and squarecuts. Sure men are visual in nature and this was clearly an opportunity to strut ones stuff. But, I'm certain there were several people who only felt comfortable showing this much skin in this environment outside of their own home. How freeing is that!

- Gay men know how to throw a party! There were 5-6 theme parties on this ship and several guys packed extra bags wit costumes. Each night have of my time spent at the parties was admiring all the creativity put into the clothing (and lack thereof) to compose the various costumes. Themes: Dog Tag (military), Heros, Glow, White Party, and Disco.

- I'm not sure if lots of gay men are former RAs or if they want to go back to living in a dorm but as former resident direct, I was a bit shocked at how many couples and singles who decorated their doors with pictures and white boards and other decor, just to let people know who lives there and to of course "network" with their fellow shipmates. I don't know if this happens on regular cruises, but it was definitely a funny highlight. Guys even made cruise cards (like business cards) complete with pictures, email addresses, phone numbers, and room numbers! We are some proactive thinkers, I tell ya.

- Gay men are all over the world! This cruise definitely attracted a large group of west-coast and US citizens. But there were strong contingencies from other places like Australia, Germany, UK, South America, and others. Meeting so many people in one place reminded me to keep an open mind about where I could possibly live in the future. Shout out to two special Brits who became our cruise family faves, Pieter and his bff Justine (yes they let ladies on the boat too). They were such a joy (especially during our impromptu encore tequila tasting bus ride before boarding the ship) and I can't wait to visit them some day soon.

- Finding love involves keeping an open mind and going with the flow. I'm a silly romantic. So, as fate would have it, of course I found a cruise crush :) We spent a lot of time together and I think I definitely made a new friend. He lives in another country and has a pretty settled life. But, who knows what will happen in the future. In the past I would have obsessed about things and made some flippant decisions to book my next flight to visit him. But, after a few days of returning to reality, I know that there are times in life when you should take a risk and times when you should wait things out and see where they go. More importantly, I believe we should learn something from every relationship we have in life. I definitely learned to remember that we all have other things in life that are more important to us than finding "love" that may take precedent at certain times. The key is to find as many ways possible for managing personal responsibilities to coincide with pursuing personal happiness.

And a few photos to wrap it up....

Cruise Crush

Cruise Crush  in Cabo

Blurry pic with creator of dating app Scruff "Johnny Scruff"

UK Loves Justine & Pieter

Glow Party

 Door dec shenanigans

70s disco realness

last cruise family dinner (tear)

These are the people in my gayborhood

You know, I love Seattle. Seriously LOVE IT. Very few places have such amazing views of lakes and snow-capped mountains combined with an urban oasis of locally sourced restaurants, hipster pubs and most of all good people to call friends. HOWEVER, my recent travels for work have helped me to truly clarify that Seattle has quite the eclectic mix of social misfits. Thank God I'm wired to be a socially-adept extrovert. 

In just one Saturday night out on The Hill (aka Capitol Hill aka gay neighborhood quickly becoming the home of gentrified cheaply made mixed-used overpriced apartment buildings...I digress), I experienced quite the hilarious array of Seattle characters. Some I love dearly...others just made me SMDH and LOL. Here's a recap:

Text my favorite Mexi-Arizonan transplant bar hopping buddy, Jose. Arrange a meet-up in 25 minutes. Hop in shower, throw on clothes, walk 8 blocks, hugz, order cocktail, small talk, catch up on life, ogle at the handsome blokes posing in the bar, laugh, and....scene.

Get a text from friend Michael (my gospel singing diva, yet trapped in a tall handsome white dudes body) who's up stairs having his own party. Jose & I walk upstairs to join, to be met with Michael's usual hilarious banter... he calls me Harriet Tubman, I allow it because he's... well... Michael. He also makes fun of my well fitted v-neck shirt that apparently was purchased at Baby Gap. The laughs and jokes continue.

The bartender upstairs is none other than my stocky dark chocolate com-padre name Tru. He works hard for the money by day in health care and by night, he keeps the drinks and the laughs flowing in the bar. Tru refers to me as Uncle Ben... and I allow it, because...well... he's Tru (and he would snap me like a twig if I ever complained about it).

All is well with friends I know and love and then this...

Enters.... handsome preppy dressed guy who clearly projecting the "uptight look" to fit in with his str8 bros flanked on his left and right. Debate ensues with Jose and I "straight or gay?" My vote: gay. The only way to know... I walk over to say hi and clarify the orientation (I was right) and bid a compliment for being handsomely dressed. He's new in town, dental student and clearly wants to keep a low profile with his "bros". So, he quickly retreats to (likely) a lower key not-so gay bar on the hill. #goodluckgurl

Run into a guy who, despite having close mutual friends, gives me the stink eye whenever I say hello. I finally get fed up with the unwarranted cold shoulder routine and gently confront him to see if I actually did something to justify the stink eye. He swears I've done nothing and apologies for the stinky looks.... only to find me on facebook the next morning and apologies because apparently I "hit on him" the first couple times we met, and he apparently doesn't know how to handle those types of situations when the feelings aren't mutual. #blesshisheart #gurlBYE

Dark bearded very masculine stalky-construction worker type guy in a bar walks by. I stop him and compliment the handsomely groomed beard. He says thanks. I say you're likely str8. He confirms he has a girlfriend...but adds that he's not THAT str8 and invites me to dance. I obliged. All goes well until he proceeds to turn around and "put it on me" in manner of which I can not handle... seriously, bucky the bronco. Afraid I'll get bucked off the not-as-str8-as he-says bronco, I excuse myself to the restroom and forget to return. #toomuchbuckinthebronco #cantbelieveididthefadeaway 

The night ends with more and more laughs with friends, and Jose and I make our way home to our quiet side of the hood. Goodnight Caphill. See you next time.

It's not you(me), it's me(you)... respecting individuality

Healthy relationships are the corner stones of any thriving group of people. It requires patience, communication, and respect for individual perspectives. I know this all too well and find myself navigating this   challenge in nearly every interaction it seems. Yes, I love to have fun and shoot the proverbial shit with friends and family. But, I'll admit to over-analyzing more than my fair share of interactions with others. I'd also be fooling myself not to admit that a recent break-up and on-going issues with my family back home didn't prompt this post and my overall desire to start blogging again...

About a year ago, I met a great guy who seem to meet nearly all of my "non-negotiable" items on my list for a potential mate. He came from a seemingly healthy family, had supportive family members, had a nice career, educated, understood/value faith in God, and of course very easy on the eyes :). He was quite a bit younger than me, but the boy could really hold his own and I felt like he (like me) had an "old soul". I felt very drawn to him and within a matter of days, yes days, I decided to jump head first into a relationship with him. In retrospect, not the best decision I've made in my life. But, essentially, I had been single in Seattle for virtually my entire 3 years and figured this was my best shot at finding the ideal mate. Obviously, that didn't work out. As it turns out, non-negotiables may be helpful at first, but there are several other nuances that one must factor in their decision before entering into a committed relationship. Some factors I learned through my interactions with him and others. Some I discovered when we were apart. Obviously, it didn't work out, and its been awkward to say the least for both of us (well definitely for me). In the end, it wasn't just about me, and it wasn't just about him. It was about our paths in life and realizing we weren't on the same page about more things than we could manage and it was best to be apart than together. The hard part (for me) is letting go and allowing us both our spaces to deal with our own lives. I still value the idea of having a friendship with him, but that doesn't appear to be a viable option at this time.

Similarly, I have a very close-knit family back home. They literally live under one roof and/or in the same neighborhood, and see each other virtually everyday. I often describe myself as the momma's boy who flew the coop. I love my family dearly and would love to see them more often. But my personal journey requires some physical/emotional distance. My sisters and I share funny stories via text and we talk occasionally. I speak to mom over the phone fairly often, and dad less so. But, I haven't visited home in over a year... Why? Because I find myself feeling boxed in when I'm at home. I feel I have to be a different person when I'm around them, because they're not genuinely interested in learning more about my life; they just want me to be around more often (understandably these two aren't mutual exclusive). But, I feel pressure to either avoid talking about my dating/social life altogether or have very intense conversations about the topic, which is taxing on everyone. I wish we could just have casual conversations about the people involved in my life. I wish my nephews could grow knowing why uncle David doesn't have a girlfriend. I wish my conversations with my parents weren't limited to "how's work?" and "are you eating ok?". I'm sure this is what they would say if I were straight too, but I believe since I've come out, they resolved that asking about any form of family/relationship is just too painful to broach. So, I resolved that I won't fly home until we get to a better place. Seems a bit selfish on my part, but it's what I need to do to advocate for my own sanity and mental well-being. This may change overtime, but it's what's best for me.

Sometimes you have to take a step back and see yourself in a situation and not just be in the situation. Relationships require this more often than we think. I can be easy to go through the motions with people in our life and never take inventory on whether or not we are helping each other become better human beings. I only spoke about dating and family in this post, but this has been crucial in my decision to include certain people in my given and chosen family. People who you keep closest should be those who display the most congruence with your perspective in life. They may be in a similar place in life or have been where you are (vice versa). Or they simply know how to actively listen and respond with loving and mature levels of empathy (age, gender, orientation, ethnicity, and religion aside). Ultimately, we all have our own paths and it takes patience and courage to respect when they don't align as well as we hope. One step, one minute, one day at a time...

One year later... it's all about perspective

Over the past year, several colleagues and friends have asked why I chose to change careers. I usually give my "PR response" that being a college recruiter for tech jobs is not very different from being a student affairs professional. You just have to work hard at increasing your business acumen and learn where to utilize your soft skills and knowledge in the new space (true, but there was more to this decision of course). I also receive questions about how I managed to get a job outside of higher ed; and I usually say it was sheer luck (also very true, but I must admit there was some subtle strategy on my part).

Rewind to spring 2012... Without disclosing too much information, I will say that this time last year was very difficult for me as a professional. I had worked very hard for 6+ years building a career as a student housing and college administrator. Navigating campus politics was essential each and every day (so it seemed), but I genuinely enjoyed my work and constantly found ways to be re-energized and apply innovative approaches to my work. When I moved to Seattle 4 years ago, my plan was two-fold: 1. move to a city where I can have a personal network of friends outside of work, and 2. find a job that could provide opportunities for career advancement over time. When I learned how much growth would be occurring at my last job, I assumed I had found a perfect opportunity. Unfortunately, 3 years later, I found myself in a very awkward space that led to me being "passed over" for a promotion. There was of course lots of bureaucracy involved in this decision, and ultimately I believe the job went to the right person. But the most challenging problem was learning how to navigate the awkwardness in the workplace, realizing that some people had full knowledge of the situation and others had no clue where I stood in this internal process until the very end.

My challenge: Keep Calm and Carry On. My inner city prideful family upbringing taught me to "never let them see you sweat". Coming from an underprivileged background can teach you some not-so helpful lessons of keeping your guard up. But this was a time where this philosophy was well worth it. Did it hurt to not be considered for a role I knew I "deserved"? Absolutely! Did it sting to hear that others with "less" experience were able to advance ahead of me? You better believe it! Ha! But, at the end of the day, my desire to maintain professional yet authentic relationships with all involved became a bigger priority than simply "keeping face at the board room table". Needless to say, this was no easy feat.

A big thank you to close friends and mentors who listened to me vent about the situation, gave me space to laugh and cry about things, and helped me to reframe the situation and  focus on what I could control. I resolved that moving on was the only option... but where? The job market sucked and student affairs salaries don't exactly provide you with ample resources to maintain a certain quality of life in major cities. Do I bite the bullet and look for jobs in suburban rural areas ("Oh hell No!", I'd said to myself every time I saw a job posting at po-dunk town university). Or do I cast a wide net and start looking for opportunities outside of higher ed? A much more reasonable idea. This is where my personal work/life balance philosophy and quality of life strategies came in quite handy.

Going back to my personal reasons for moving to Seattle (building a personal network), I found myself focusing more on friendships, social activities, and less on "work". I still cared about my job, but I found ways to be more efficient, delegate, and spent more time on me. I actually attended a conference in Portland this time last year that was focused on storytelling and learning how to frame your experience to better understand your personal journey in life. I found ways to apply this to my future work, but mostly realized this was God's way of helping me to see that life is all about perspective.

When I returned from this conference I had a gut feeling that something promising was about to happen. It may have just been post-conference optimism, but I seemed happier returning to work and was ready to just "move on". About a year prior I started running, and ran a few 5Ks even. Initially, it was for physical fitness and testing my own endurance, but it was also a way to let out stress from what I realize was not the healthiest work environment for me. I also joined a running group of gay men called Frontrunners. This group meets on Saturdays and runs 3-6 mile courses and meets afterwards to for coffee. I had managed to meet lots of nice guys, but it was definitely more casual hangout than a networking opportunity for me. As chance would have it, I met a guy a couple weeks post-Portland conference and learned that he was a college recruiter for a tech company. This was our exchange.
ME: So, what type of work do you do?
KK: I'm a college recruiter for x company.
ME: OMG! Hire me!
KK: Well, actually we are hiring lots of people right now.
ME: Again, seriously, HIRE ME!
KK: Well, what type of work do you do?
ME: I'm a lowly student housing professional but I love recruiting and have lots of transferable skills....
KK: Wow, that actually sounds like a good fit for our team and might help you do well in this space. Send me your resume and I'll see if we can get you in for a phone screen.
ME: awesome!  

A few days later I had a phone screen. A week later, a final round. And the rest is history. In the end, being "passed over" for a promotion was definitely a blessing in disguise. I was brought to one of my lowest points personally/professionally, but I learned a lot about myself and was stretched in ways that I never imagined. And more importantly, I have a job/career that excites me beyond belief. Even one of my senior student affairs mentors said "David, this job sounds perfect for you. I'm actually quite jealous." Would I ever consider going back to higher ed? Maybe. But, I'm enjoying the newness of this stage in life and just happy to be where I am. Sometimes it pays to just stick with the not-so happy times and learn to ride the turbulent waves until things get better.

Extrovert in an introverted city

When I first moved to Seattle, I made a conscious effort to go out and socialize with lots of people in the city. Most often at bars, but also at various volunteer events. I quickly noticed that a number of people at bars tend to stand with pods of friends and/or stand by themselves, notice people around them, but rarely and/or never make an effort to say hello to others around them. This I quickly learned to be a sign of the "Seattle freeze". Being the gregarious person I am, I often made an effort to introduce myself to random people who appeared to be open to conversation (anyone not obsessively looking down at their feet or phone). I figured, despite how "closed" everyone appeared to be, they were clearly interested in being in a social environment. So, why not engage them in social dialogue? For several weeks/months, I only encountered a few awkward moments where people weren't willing to engage beyond a simple "hello. how's your night going?". In fact, I actually received an interesting response from most people. "Oh, you're new here, and not afraid to say hello to people in public. You'll do really good in Seattle. We need more people like you." (paraphrasing of course). But, seriously, this was the reaction I received from multiple people. Little did I know this friendly disposition would come to bite me in my gregarious ass over time! ha! Don't get me wrong. I've met some great people and had established several strong friendships in my nearly 4 years here. But, I've also learned that apparently, I'm too forward, too assertive, too socially/self-aware(?) for some people, and have found myself often times feeling as lonely as the awkward nerdy guy sitting at the bar looking down at his shoes (yes, these type of people frequent Seattle bars). What do I mean by lonely? Basically, because I'm one of the few people willing to put myself out there and meet others, I tend to scare the more timid type people away (even guys who may be interested in dating me. gasp!). I never thought being too friendly and secure in ones own self would be considered a turn-off, but I'm starting to think it is indeed a flaw to some guys. Not ready to make any drastic decisions, but beginning to think I'm "damned if I do and damned if I don't" as my folks would say...

Books and Films...

here are a few books and films that have made an impression on me lately...

VALLEY OF VISION (book of Puritan Prayers)... I keep a copy in my backpack just to refer to when I'm walking around the city or to meetings at work on campus. The language is a bit archaic for me, but I am able to understand the spirit of their messages.

LOVE IS AN ORIENTATION: ELEVATING THE CONVERSATION WITH THE GAY COMMUNITY... The author Andrew Marin does a great job of explaining the desperate need for reconciliation between the evangelical church and the gay community. This book helped me to come to terms with a lot of things in my life and I appreciate Andrew (being a straight white Christian man) for putting himself out there as an ally to the community and a beacon of hope for this on-going, fear-driven phenomenon. Thanks to my good friend Farmer for suggesting this to me....

ADAM (2008)... This film focuses on a relationship between a woman and a man who has asperbergers syndrome (a more complex cousin to autism). Its a heart touching story that brings to like the realities of the "socially awkward" people in the world. I work with a special population of students in my job and due to some recent mental health issues I've faced myself, I find myself very intrigued by the brain and personality disorders. Its so easy just to label people and never take the opportunity to explore their individual stories. This film teaching a good lesson to the world (particularly the US and its Type A-driven societal focus) and raises the questions...should we focus our energy on medicating and and training individuals described as awkward or disturbed to conform to societies accepted behavior?? OR should we help society to learn how to relate to these remarkable individuals???

DREAMS FROM MY FATHER: A STORY OF RACE AND INHERITANCE... President Obama's stories caused me to think more about how I can be used to make an impact on society. We've all heard about his remarkable journey from childhood to the White House, but to read it (at least part of his journey) in his own words is quite intriguing. At first I thought it would be cliche to liken myself to Barack, but after reading this book for my staff training this summer (despite having it on my bookshelf for months untouched), I can understand what it feels like to be so lonely, without a real father, just stories told by loved ones and still be inspired enough to work hard at achieving high goals. By no means am I saying my dad wasn't involved in my life... I just always felt he was more of a figurehead in our house that we revered and respected as opposed to someone I knew on a heart level and mentored me throughout life. I've learned some great lessons from my dad, but many are lessons he didn't directly teach me; and I'm thankful for all those lessons.

WIG (2009): http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1357081/ Director John Holland does a great job at depicting a funny, yet heart touching story about a successful driven songwriter (having everyone in his life depend on him or reject him because of his life "choices"). Following his mothers death, he steals her wig that she was known for wearing and wears it around the house as he attempts to grieve her death. Its quite the hilarious short film, that I just watched today at the Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival http://threedollarbillcinema.org/09 . But I found myself coming to tears, cause I started to imagine what it would feel like to come "undone" if and when I ever lose my mom before I die. The writer and lead actor of this film was at the viewing today and he spoke about his mom during a Q&A session. She didn't actually wear a wig, but she was known for having very long well-kept hair. I too could relate. My mom has always had long hair (especially for a black woman), she's never used a chemical relaxer; she's always done the old school wash press and curl thing that black women used to do before chemical perms can on the scene. Its definitely one of my favorite features of my mom. I used to stroke her hair a lot when I was a kid, and whenever she had to attend a formal event for me in school, she would ask how she should style her hair. I'd always ask her to wear it down (she was very known for putting it up in a french roll or some other "up do"). As long as it wasn't too hot and humid out (which is rare in the south) she would obliged and I head my head a little higher, because I love to show her off in front of my classmates and friends. I really miss seeing my mom right now. I guess thats why I'm going on and on about her....

Enough for now... thanks for reading.
~DD

You Are Blessed...seriously?...seriously!

having brunch at one of my favorite places on the hill... Rose Bud on Pike

just left church service which is just down a couple blocks and heard a great sermon on the 'beattitudes" Matt 5. The interesting part of the sermon was the pastor read the passage from "The Message" translation and i came to tears during the entire reading.

A little context...

This past week was very intense and stressful for me at work. Not stressed in a bad way, but i felt challenged to learn more about the working culture of my department and those i work with, and everyday felt more and more like the 'new guy' at the table as we discussed various approaches to our work. No matter how many techniques we discuss about approaching our work with students, I have come to realize that my foundation for life is often very different from those i work with. i guess you can say i've felt more and more like a stranger or alien (a reference from I Peter). On the surface it appears that i am simply more focused on student development and less on purely productivity and the customer service aspect of my position/department. But no amount of time at the gym, yoga class, or consuming adult beverages could resolve this internal frustration i felt as the week came to a close.

Once the pastor read the passage at the beginning of his sermon I instantly realized the root of my pensiveness and began to silently weep out of a healthy dose of emotional relief. I was simply not recognizing the reality that no matter how challenging the circumstance i am blessed beyond belief...not because of my good works or efforts to be more student-focused, but because my motivation for being holistically excellent in my work is in response to a great and humbling reality. Read on and share your reflections if this passage resonates with you...

Matthew 5:1-16 (The Message translation)
1 When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down 2 and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:
3 "You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. 4 "You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. 5 "You're blessed when you're content with just who you are - no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought. 6 "You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat. 7 "You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'carefull,' you find yourselves cared for. 8 "You're blessed when you get your inside world - your mind and heart - put right. Then you can see God in the outside world. 9 "You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family. 10 "You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom. 11 "Not only that - count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. 12 You can be glad when that happens - give a cheer, even! - for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.
13 "Let me tell you why you are here. You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You've lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage. 14 "Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. 15 If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. 16 Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand - shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.

the art of self-dating :)

So, if you’re someone who’s been close to me in the past couple years, you probably know that I am admittedly a “serial dater”; not that I’m unable to or uninterested in anything long term, but more that I’m comfortable putting myself out there and taking the initial step to meet just about anyone of notable interest for the proverbial cup of coffee. And, yes, I do believe coffee dates are the ideal first date environments... Its quite simple, if you and the person really hit it off, you can chat for hours with interruption from the server asking if you’d like another glass of wine or interested in the dessert menu. On the other hand, if things just aren’t meshing (say the person weighs 30 lbs more than they did in their profile photos OR even better, you quickly realize they are a little more socially awkward and dorky than the geek chic you were hoping for) you can call it an early night and say your pleasantries after a solid 20 minutes and be on your way with much more money left in your wallet. So, needless to say, I go out several first and second dates on any given week. It’s actually quite refreshing to meet so many new faces in a 1-on-1 setting, especially since I’m a huge extrovert and love the art of communication ☺. PS: So far, my favorite coffee shops in Seattle are Bauhaus Coffee on Capitol Hill http://www.bauhauscoffee.net/ and Café Solstice on the Ave in the U-District (near UW’s campus) http://www.Cafesolstice.com.

But, on occasion, I find myself longing to just treat myself to a night alone. Not a night alone at home, although they are much appreciated, but rather a night out by myself. I did just that tonight. I went to one of my favorite bar/restaurants called Rose Bud on Capitol Hill. http://rosebud-restaurant.com/ They have the most savory bowl of macaroni with smoked gouda cheese, and the bartender makes a kick-ass bloody Mary. Plus, they have these cool windows that open inward and the the people sitting at the table to literally be inches away from people walking along the sidewalk. So, even though I’m eating alone, I still get to watch lots of people pass by and interact with the rest of the world. I was really excited about this self-date, because I also got to see a movie I’d been anticipating all weekend (I was stuck on-call this past weekend and couldn’t make it down to this indie theatre to check out the movie on opening night). After scraped my mac&cheese bowl and took my last sip of spicy tomato juice with a spirited kick, I headed around the block to the Egyptian theatre http://www.landmarktheatres.com/market/Seattle/EgyptianTheatre.htm and waited for the movie “Adam” to start. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1185836/ Writer/Director Max Mayer does a decent job of capturing the life of a young man who learns to live with a mild case of Asperger’s Syndrome and meets a woman in the building who eventually falls smitten to his rare and refreshing dose of genuine honesty. Yes, it’s a total chick flick, but I also thought it raised some interesting issues about falling in love and mental/developmental disorders. Of course the guy with Asperger’s with super attractive and the lovely woman who falls for him comes from an affluent background that would completely forbid her dating anyone but a rich investment banker who could add to the family’s wealth. I won’t spoil the movie for you. But I’d recommend checking it out if its showing in your area. I wish I could judge a movie based on whether it makes me cry, but sadly when I watch movies alone, I am a complete sap and find myself shedding tears and choking up over the simplest gestures or moments of romance in a film.

I don’t think there was anything profound about this particular self-date night, but I think I definitely prefer taking myself out to the movies, versus staying home to watch a movie alone. Sure, my couch is a bit more comfortable than a movie seat in a renovated theater, but there’s just something refreshing about treating myself to something other than a quiet night at home, and allowing myself to just be me and not worry about impressing someone or spending any energy wondering what the other person is thinking as we sit and watch a movie together. Plus at the end of the day, I’m the cheapest date I’ll probably ever have! LOL

Why Seattle??

I’ve been asked this question by many people from my family & close friends to my interviewers (now colleagues) & nearly every person I’ve met since moving here. Some people ask in a tone that implies a bit of skepticism, others ask out bewilderment because they’ve never been exposed to the pacific northwest, but I’d like to believe most are just sincerely interested in my decision making process and wonder what’s so great about this city. So, I’ll try to sum up my answer in a few points:

- CITY LIFE- I’ve always wanted to live in a big city. I moved to Connecticut to attend graduate school five years ago and one of main attractions for me was living so close to Boston and Manhattan. Sadly, I only visited Boston 3-4 times in two years and step foot in Manhattan only twice ☹ Then once again, I accepted my first job in the bay area of California, because the campus I’d work for was only 40 miles south of San Francisco. I’m happy to report I had much more success venturing off to the city on a regular basis, but quickly found that a 40 mile drive usually meant at least an hour commute, which is not very conducive when you want to go out for the occasional adult beverage. Haha. So, needless to say, I was set on moving to an actual city for my next job. I looked at jobs in Chicago and NYC, but I recently visited Seattle last March for the 2nd time, and realized how much I enjoy the vibe of the city. I got to hear one of favorite hip-hop/R&B artist (Rafael Saddiq) and road on a bus to the downtown area everyday. Plus I got to wear a scarf and cap everyday (I love to wear scarfs and caps), but I wasn’t freezing my ass off. So, when I saw a job posted on higheredjobs.com for the University of Washington, I decided to just go for it.

- COFFEE SHOPS- People drink more coffee in Seattle than anywhere in the world…haha OK, I’m not sure that’s a fact, but lets just say the first Starbucks is located here. And you can’t walk two blocks without passing by some type of coffee establishment. I like coffee, but more than that I like coffee shops, mostly because it’s a great place to people watch. Not in a creepy way, but in a reflective way. Its one of the few places you can see business folks meeting to prep for a presentation sitting next to a homeless guy taking a break with his loyal canine companion resting by his side. These images make me realize more that the world does not revolve about me, but rather I am simply playing my role in this production we call “life”.

- WEST COAST ATTITUDE- As many of you know, I grew up in Birmingham, Alabama in a completely homogenous neighborhood. I grew up in a Black world and every aspect of life was seen through the lense of a black man in America. It wasn’t until I was a sophomore in high school that I began to participate in activities that involved people from “over the mountain” and I from that point I’ve had this constant desire to see new places and interact with people different than myself…only to eventually find out there are more similarities than differences between us, if we are willing to spend some time getting to know each other. Moving to the northeast was fun, but I found the people and the communities there to be…well….lets just say more rigid than I was expecting. Most people were very friendly and opened up if you were willing to get over the wall they automatically had up as a natural form of defense. The west coast, by far, is the most eclectic and diverse place I’ve ever lived, and I just couldn’t lose that aspect by moving to Chicago or NYC. So, again, Seattle rose to the top of my list as an ideal location. More than that, I have developed some strong ties with folks in California and didn’t want to move too far from them. So, even though I’m no longer there, I’m only a 2-hour flight away…hint hint ☺

- CONNECTING WITH A TRUE COMMUNITY- Finally, Seattle (and other large cities) stood out as a good place for me, because I wanted to find community with people like me. Growing up in the inner city, I missed the idea of attending a church in the middle of city. Once I moved away to college, I attended primarily churches in small towns or in suburbia, all hoping to have an impact on the nearby city/campus of course... yet comfortably nestled in a conveniently quiet neat clean sanctuary away from the madness of it all. As an evangelical Christian, I’d like to worship in a church that is located in the epicenter of the city and reaching to people from all walks of life. Urban cities are the best place to reach those business men and that homeless guy I spoke of earlier. So, I’m looking forward to finding a community of believers to connect with as I continue to engage in the greater community of Seattle.

- COMING OUT, INTO MY OWN… Finally, in addition to connecting with a Christian community, I was very excited about living in a city I could become an active member of the GLBTQ community. If you don’t know what those letters stand for, they represent the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer community. If you are a facebook friend, you’ve probably picked up on the subtle (and some not-so-subtle) hints that I’ve recently made the choice to come out as a gay man. If not, I guess you know now ☺. I’ve struggled for years trying to figure out why and how I was oriented this way. And after several years of praying to God to ask him to “change” me, I realized his answer was “you have already been changed when you first believed in me”. During these years of struggling and praying I became increasingly depressed and felt despair about life, that I would never be “normal” and never be able to effect change in the world as Christian, if I had this issue. The church (as an institution) has not helped in this regard, so the more I “fought this desire” and tried to increase my involvement in the church, I realized I’d have to spend a lifetime living a double life. In fact, when I moved to Cali, for the first two years I had 3 lives: my work life, my church life, and my gay life. I built great friendships in all three lives, but I rarely let them know about the other two areas. It wasn’t until my 27 birthday party, that I invited all my coworkers and all my closest gay friends to dinner together. There were over 30 people there! It was so relieving to see everyone interact with each other and share stories about how they got to know me. Obviously, I never incorporated my “gay life” into my “church life”. Although I did make strides by opening up to my pastor and surprisingly received a great amount of loving support. Leading a triple life can be very exhausting and it made the depression over time increase exponentially. So, I resolved in the past year, that I would begin to merge my different lives and find a place to live where I could be openly gay…openly Christian… OPENLY DAVID to everyone I encountered. To some that may seem like a gay Christian may sound like an oxymoron, but trust me… I know in whom I have believed and pray everyday that He’ll use me to make a difference in the world for his kingdom sake. I don’t quite know yet where this journey will take me, but I’m very excited about what is yet to come!

WHEWWW… ok I said it! So, feel free to email me with any questions. For the most part I’m an open book. ☺

Thanks for reading my really long first entry…
Cheers!
~dd

so, maybe i did fall off the face of the earth...

the truth of the matter is work has consumed my time, and i just lack motivation to blog. not blogging isnt a sign that i've forgotten about my friends back in bham. Its a sign that i've become more acquainted with friends on my job and having an actual "life" in california. Last week I visited Orlando Florida for a national conference for student affairs professionals. There are usually two national conferences to choose from, sponsored by our two main organizations for student affairs. But every 10 years they join together and offer one massive joint meeting (nearly 10K). Al Gore was our opening keynote speaker (he spoke for well over an hour..ugh) but had some great information to share. If you haven't seen his movie, check it out. But his presentation had nothing to do with our conference, other than the fact that our field is generally liberal and supportive of these types of issues. I personally think he should have paid our organization to speak, since he only used his time to push his personal agenda....haha.

anyway, i finally settled in my apartment (ie. put up curtains and put away clothes that were still in boxes). To celebrate, I invited co-workers and friends over for a St Patty's Day party. My kitchen counter top now looks like a fully stocked bar..haha I started hanging out with 20-something folks at church (we have a weekly pub night at stanford area bars and pubs) and even sang with the music team a couple times during service. Grace is a great church. I just wish i didnt have weekend commitments sometimes. I attend church less frenquently than I would like to sometimes, and I actually haven't become an official member yet. But, the people there have grown on me. Ultimately, I would like to find a job at a school in the city (San Fran) or move back east to Boston or New York. The Silicon Valley is still too suburban for me. But my job is a good place for me to be right now. We'll see what happens in the next year or so.

I've had my share of emotional up-and-downs, feeling lonely because of my singleness and moving to a new place. but honestly, the bay area is too beautiful for me to be depressed all the time. I am blessed to have a good job and to be living in a beautiful place. Who cares if I'll never be married...haha (ok, thats at least what i tell myself sometimes). Plus, I found a dance studio to learn more salsa moves. I couldn't make the times during March, but I hope to start classes again this month. I also found two places (one in Santa Cruz (by the beach) and one in San Fran) to get away and dance to live band music. Cant wait for Cinco de Mayo :)

My family is doing ok. My nephew Jaylon will be 6 next friday. (whoa time flies!) My mom gave us a scare with her heart. She avoided seeing the doctor about having problems breathing and her month long "cold". Finally she went in to have some tests run. She's now taking some daily medication, and there's not a lot of blockage. So, she should be ok. But you can pray for her. It was quite a scare for me.

So, thats an update for me....no promises on when I will blog again...haha

2 1/2 week trip to Birmingham...

So, instead of blogging about my life's joys, bloopers, fears, and pains for the past 5 months....(Man, finding the time and most importantly, the motivation to blog is harder than i anticipated). I will hopefully get a chance to see you all during my visit to Alabama. I was originally staying for only 8 days, but had to change my flight due to a death in the family. So, now I'm flying in much earlier and staying much longer than expected. Hope to see and hear from you all between Dec 14-jan 2.

Cheers,
~DD

Rebirth of the Pre-Teen

Here a quick view of my new look for the next year or so. (Hopefully, not longer than 2)

my so called life continues....

Hey folks,

I know...way overdue update. Lets just say, its taking me a while to get adjusted to having a fulltime job that entails living where u work and working where u live. Sure, its convenient when ur commute to the office involves walking out of ur apartment door, and down a flight of stairs. But, living down the hall from my vibrant freshman and sophomore residents drives me crazy. I feel guilty for not "hanging out" with my neighbors. But, chances are, they dont want me to be around for what they consider "fun". Plus, I am still settling in my new apartment, after living in a temporary apartment for 2 months. I moved here 5 weeks ago, and with school starting, havent had time to do anything. But I must break out the cement drill bits and picture frames this week for sure. We're having staff progressive night (which basically open house for all the staff in my building).

Why did I decide to get braces so soon after starting my job?? After many postponed appointments, and having four bucuspids ripped out of my gums, I am finally getting braces monday morning. I am definitely taking a REAL sick day! But, i might as well get my car registered too right? :)

Church is good, but I'm not really involved yet... Social life isn't too exciting, but I get up to SF as much as I can on the weekends. I hope to start taking Salsa dance classes in November, and maybe I'll get to the gym this week. HA!

Family back home is good. I talk more with my sisters now than I ever did while at montevallo or uconn. I'm not going home for thanksgiving, but Christmas should be good. Enuf for now. I guess I should sleep. Cheers

I'm still alive...

Hey folks,

Sorry I haven't posted a blog in a couple of weeks. A lot is happening with work, but I just don't have the time to write it all out right now. Stay tuned, and I hope you all are doing well. Oh, by the way, NorCal weather is still absolutely perfect, in case you were wondering. haha

community and communion...and beer

This is short, but I wanted to share some truths I have experienced latey (mostly just yesterday). I had a great conversation with BP yesterday afternoon, and for the first time really began to get my hands around this... When I am struggling the most with sin, fear, and doubt, the best place for me to be is with a community of believers. I also have begun to experience the joy that is in taking communion and experiencing that means of grace that Christ has given us. I have heard this language before (or something like it), but never knew what it would feel like to actually experience it first hand. and finally, I am thankful to Sam Adams for making good beer, it made my conversation with BP all the more enjoyable...haha

Plastic or Metal

So, I am joining the ranks of pre-teens all over the country (and my friends Amanda and Adam) to get braces put on my teeth at the age of 25! Even though my insurance doesn't cover it, I can set aside pre-tax dollars to pay for them over time thru my job...(sigh of relief) Now, I have a choice to make: Traditional metal brackets for 1 1/2 to 2 years or Clear plasic-like brackets for a few months longer? I'm not sure, but I think I want to go with the more esthetically appealing choice. (at least for the top row). I guess Amanda is the only blog reader who can speak from experience, but what do you folks think?

I can rent a car now!!

Or at least rent one without being charged an additional "under 25" fee. So, Saturday was my birthday, and like the past 5 years, I have spent it away from my family, thanks to Beach Projects, CCP, training at UCONN, and my new job. But, I did get to talk with everyone back home and listen to their well wishes and teasing about me "getting old". My first birthday involved going to the 28th Annual Garlic festival in Gilroy, CA, which is the garlic capital of the world (and they are proud of their garlic)..haha. I met up with this girl from Boston that is interning at a nearby school. Actually, we've hung out twice in the past week. So, i could possibly call Saturday a 'date'. Not sure if anything will happen with that. Of course she leaves in another week for Boston, but she has two of my favorite qualities: Latina, and can dance salsa! Last Sunday we spent the afternoon at the famous Boardwalk amusement park and ate dinner on the Santa Cruz wharf...good times. If anything more comes of that friendship, I'll be sure to let you all know.

So, the other thing I did for my 25th was eat, drink, and be merry with my co-workers and their partners/spouces. Come to think of it, we do a lot of that...eat, drink, and be merry. Thanks to our lucrative budget and our convenient location, our RD (Resident Director) staff retreat involved us spending a day and a half in San Francisco...dining at fancy restaraunt, staying in a nice hotel, karoake bar, going to famous musical..good times I tell ya. I can stand this for a few more years..haha. We're even going to the Giants vs. Dodgers game as a staff in a couple weeks!!

So, overall life has been fun in the bay area. I shared at a community group meeting that my biggest challenge is trying to find a group of friends to spend time with and just getting adjusted to my truly single adult life. Don't get me wrong, I am sooo thankful that I already knew folks before moving here. But, the truth is its hard being single and working at a university. I can't exactly make friends with the undergrads, cause I'm a full-time staff member (the line was a lot grayer when I was a grad student). And, most of my colleagues are so different than me, that I find myself getting frustrated because I know that we couldn't just hang out all the time outside of work.

The church thing is sort of a struggle too. I've enjoyed my time attending church with my bama friends, but (i can't believe I'm actually saying this) well.... I just don't know if I'm ready to be the only black person in church again. I did that thing in Connecticut and it was pretty much the same at Briarwood in Birmingham. It can be emotionally draining and culturally confusing over time. On top of all this, my relationship with God has been less than good over the past few months (or year for that matter), and I'm having a rough time with spirtual things altogether. Honestly, it feels a lot better to just avoid the whole issue and superficially "hangout" at church. So, hopefully, I will get all this stuff worked out. Pray for me.

Sorry, if this is too long of a blog...I have more to say, but I'll dish it out in portions....

Day 1 is done...

I started work today and things don't seem too overwhelming. We went to HR and become official employees and got our ID cards made. I swear I felt like I was a freshman all over again. The good thing is my boss bought all of us new RD's one piece of Santa Clara Clothing. So, despite the warm weather, we all as a group decided to get the more expensive items...sweatshirts and jackets...I know EVIL!...haha. But we figured if it was free, we might as well save our money for the cheaper items like t-shirts and hats.

I also got a chance to see my new office, which is a regular double room for students minus the furniture, but including the mirror and sink( to wash up after lunch I suppose.) It also has the long bulletin cork boards running along the wall. I'm gonna have SO much fun decorating and getting this place to feel like a real office. I am also living in a faculty suite until late August or early September, while my actual apartment is being built. I checked out the future site, and it is currenly four rooms on the top floor of my building with vaulted ceiling and beams from the roof...so there will be a nice feel to my new place complete with new appliances and furniture..I'M SO SIKED!! Til then, I will continue to live out the boxes I packed back in May...haha