Influences on my Worldview

I recently took a week "break" from posting thoughts on Facebook and had a moment to collect my thoughts on why I've felt so impacted by the recent decisions. I know I have a high degree of empathy for others, but I needed take some time away to explore why I felt so overwhelmed with more stress (seemingly) than others I encounter today. Instead of judging myself or others regarding the degree at which we appear to be "impacted" by the recent actions, I decided to practice using "I statements" and share a few experiences and factors that impact my worldview.

• I grew up in the inner-city raised by high school educated very young parents. My hometown environment was mostly black, lower class, and under-educated. Unless you've lived in that environment, you don't understand the inherent struggle of wanting to have pride in your identity while realizing you were born into a disadvantaged ethnic group and community that the world views as bad, unsuccessful, and/or unworthy.

• BUT, I managed to "get out"… (in more ways than I recognize during any given day)

• While growing up, I was encouraged to experience other opportunities outside of my local community to learn from others. On the surface, these experiences gave me exposure to more affluent (mostly white) people and increase my ability to confidently interact with these individuals (my dad still prides himself on my ability to speak intelligently with his company's CEO, despite him working in the mechanic shop in the back of the house), but it also influence my ability to find commonalities with people that appeared different than me on the surface. Thanks to programs like Anytown USA, Youth Leadership Forum of Birmingham, YMCA Youth in Government, and many other groups, I found myself becoming one the "exceptions to the rule" that nothing good could come out of the inner city of Birmingham. Needless to say, these experiences gave me an appetite to get out and explore even more.

• I went to a majority white, public liberal arts university… further exposing me to more affluent individuals from all walks of life, but also exposing me to professors and students who challenged social norms and encourage intellectual discourse to help bring about change in our greater society.  The small campus and classrooms allowed me to feel like an individual and not simply a number. I had many mentors on campus that encouraged me to develop and grow beyond the coursework I studied.

• While in college, I left my traditional black church upbringing and got involved with a conservative (mostly white) Christian organization and church. At the time, I viewed this as another "growth opportunity" in my faith as Christian. However in hindsight, I view this as a learning opportunity as a human being and future human development professional. It was a bit of a social experiment to learn how white Christian philosophy uses its power to force conservative views onto others and discouraged any amount of critical thinking skills, but rather forces groupthink and in many ways further push individuals into conforming vs becoming their true and authentic self, uniquely designed by the Creator. Despite my tone, I don't regret going through this experience. It connected me with lifelong friends, and has helped me to maintain my faith in God, even if my life doesn't look the way those in the conservative church movement (or even my black church upbringing for that matter) believe it should.

• I moved away from my southern home… two years of grad school in the northeast, 3 years of working in the bay area at a very affluent catholic university, and ultimately moving to Seattle… my home for the past 8 years…all three locations have notably provided more open-minded and liberal thinking regarding the societal issues. Living in these locations has also exposed me to people from backgrounds that I would likely have never encountered by remaining in my southern hometown.

• I "came out", i.e. came to terms with my orientation as a gay man, and have had the privilege of meeting so many individuals who belong to the LGBTQ community. Our stories are all different, but we all share the commonality of knowing what it feels like to be born "different" even when our own families and friends can't quite comprehend. Some of us where born with an attraction to the same or other gendered identity. Some of us may have been born in bodies that do not match our personal identity. We are not the majority of people, but our lives matter and I believe we add value to our society when we are able to live our lives out loud and participate as equal citizens in our world.

• Somehow I found myself working in the tech industry… not only am I impressed by the beautiful minds of our engineers who create digital solutions for tasks and systems that we would otherwise do in a manual fashion, I'm equally impressed with the amount of diversity people who work in this industry. On any given day, I get to interact with people from 10+ different countries, cultural backgrounds, and religious views and familial customs. Many of these individuals come from backgrounds of poverty and have worked tirelessly to pursue a career that will change their life and their family's life forever. At the same time, this industry is overwhelming male, white and Asian… lacking any notable sign of female, black or Hispanic/Latino representation. These three groups in the US (and abroad) are of some of the most underpaid, under-educated, underappreciated, and I hope we can change that for the future.

• Finally, having moved out and around, learning to appreciate the beauty of diversity, many of my closest friends are immigrants and/or come from different backgrounds than my own. My assumptions about people from other backgrounds are constantly challenged because them. My heart for helping others has grown a thousand times just by knowing and loving them.

Because of these experiences (and many others I haven't yet pinned), I cannot simply view the current state of things by saying/thinking "just trust God", "lord have mercy", or quote some bible scripture that may soothe my soul in the moment. I can't simply sit back and say I'll "pray about it", because things have always been this bad for folks "like us" and we just need to weather this storm. I can't sit back and trust that some pragmatic approach by those in positions of power will eventually turn the tide on these issues. I can't turn a blind eye to the silence of those who hide behind their prejudice views, empowering those in political power to harm, discriminate, degrade, and shut out those who need our love and support more than ever. I will continue to seek diverse views on issues and learn from others experiences that are different than my own. I will continue to practice active empathy for others who justifiably feel threatened, marginalized, and targeted by others. I will continue to share my learnings, my voice, my experiences, my story to help impact positive change in our society and I pray and hope others will do so too.