So many people are setting up their fb pics with pictures of their mom. So, I'll join in and share this little diddy....
I love that my mom has always been our (my sisters and I) biggest cheerleader, even through our biggest fueding periods of time, she always has our back. Despite being the youngest of her sibs, she's the clear mother of the group and everyone looks to "NeNe, Nee, Nenora, Momma, Mrs Daniels, Nana" for support and encouragement. My biggest pride and joy is knowing that she and I will always see eye-to-eye, even when we disagree, even though I'm miles away, even when I go weeks without calling home to check in (she trolls my fb page through my sisters, so doesn't really worry about my whereabouts). Regardless, she knows my heart and understands my "calling" in life, even if that calling has caused me to change jobs every 2-3 years and I'm always hopping on a plane for work or another vacation (ha!). It's really uncanny and I wouldn't be the person I am today without that influence.
Like many gay boys raised in the south, I struggled to find my voice. I searched to find it in many ways: church/school choir, a REALLY short stint as a cub scout, student leadership, marching band, academics, etc. These were all tools that helped me develop, but they weren't "my voice" per se. During one of my many "Mom, know I'm different, right?" conversations as an adult, my mom shared a story with me. She's always had very vivid dreams and usually finds ways to interpret them, as she believes God speaks to us through dreams. This particular dream she shared with me happened during a time when I was very young. It was a dream about fish (for those of black/southern heritage, you know this typically refers to someone being pregnant). This story had a twist. She was swimming in an ocean of sorts, and she found herself swimming amidst a huge sea of fish of various sizes, shapes, and colors of the rainbow. She didn't know what to make of the dream, so she called my paternal grandfather for guidance (such an interesting anecdote that I've yet to investigate further). Together they reached a conclusion that the dream was about me and the fact that I was clearly made different and beautiful. She didn't understand what that meant, but as I matured and began my coming out process, she realized that God had spoken to her as early as her pregancy days with me, that I would be different. Every since she shared this story with me, it has allowed me to rest easy and know that I am who I am for good reason. And that God has blessed me with the perfect mother to guide me as I grew up to be the man I am today.
So, here's to all the beautiful school of rainbow fish in the world. Just keep swimming and do you. And to my mom, Lenora, thank you for being my rock.
