Pause and Reflect: November 2013

It's been a little over a week and I'm finally taking time to write about my last-minute cruise vacation. At first As my fall travels came to an end, I figured a staycation was just what the doctor ordered. But then I saw a email deal pop in the ole inbox and figured "why the hell not??! Let's do it" Fearing there would be lots of hidden fees and costs, I started considering other low-cost vacation options and I realized the cruise would be the best option. I mean, who else would book a cruise by themselves 12 days before setting sail but David?! Random but somewhat related thought...A little over a year ago, I attended a helpful conference hosted by one of my favorite authors who encouraged people to create dramatic and exciting moments in life. I don't think this was exactly what he had in mind, but as I said before "why the hell not?!"

With every new experience comes lots of expectations, reality-checks, and a few unexpected surprises along the way.

1. Despite booking a cruise by myself, I figured I would know at least 1 or 2 people on the boat. It's a small gay world and having live in/near two major westcoast cities, I figured this was a fair assumption. Sure enough, there were a couple familiar faces. Most involved brief chats in passing, but that gave me just enough comfort to let my guard down and enjoy the adventure of getting to know new people throughout the week.

2. Gay cruises have lots of not-so great reputations (sex, drugs, etc etc), but I figured there had to be a good batch of reasonably "normal" guys on the cruise to meet. Both were true. Though thankfully, I didn't encounter too much of the not-so great qualities. I had a fairly friendly roommate (yes, on gay cruises, since there is a high number of singles, they offer shared cabins and match you up with a roommate when you arrive). He's from Australia, and though we had very different sleep schedules, he was cordial and seemed to have a fun time as well. However, the best surprise was when I met a great group of guys at the dog tag party. They were good friends and had all met on previous cruises. An adorable couple of 14 years and an adorable single guy my own age from Canada (more on that later), and another adorable couple of 9 years from the mid-west. They were the epitome of salt-of-the-earth and immediately invited me to become apart of their cruise family. I also met lots of other great people on the cruise, but this group quickly became family in a matter of days.

3. I wanted to do more than just lay by the pool all day and dance all night. Thankfully, the cruise director filled the calendar with lots of cool entertainment. Kathy Griffin was HILARIOUS! I love that she spent time "observing the gays" on the boat and managed to include some pretty funny material to use in her show. There were lots of fun activities planned throughout the day both on the boat at port when we arrived in different cities. Cabo was a one day visit. So, my cruise family and I spent the afternoon at the beach at a fun cantina sipping on libations all day. But in Puerto Varrata we booked a Tequila Tasting excursion and visited some pretty rustic distilleries. Apparently, the best tequila is made with 100% true blue agave and no added sugars. Perhaps it was the multiple shots we had, but I must say that was the best tequila I've ever tasted (hiccup).

I also took some time to reflect as I observed a snapshot of the gay community in this "controlled" environment. Here are few thoughts:

- We spend so much time learning how to fit in a straight world, if feels good to just strip down to your underwear and dance dance dance. LITERALLY. I love that guys of all shapes, ages, and sizes felt so comfortable with their bodies to walk around virtually everywhere in their speedos and squarecuts. Sure men are visual in nature and this was clearly an opportunity to strut ones stuff. But, I'm certain there were several people who only felt comfortable showing this much skin in this environment outside of their own home. How freeing is that!

- Gay men know how to throw a party! There were 5-6 theme parties on this ship and several guys packed extra bags wit costumes. Each night have of my time spent at the parties was admiring all the creativity put into the clothing (and lack thereof) to compose the various costumes. Themes: Dog Tag (military), Heros, Glow, White Party, and Disco.

- I'm not sure if lots of gay men are former RAs or if they want to go back to living in a dorm but as former resident direct, I was a bit shocked at how many couples and singles who decorated their doors with pictures and white boards and other decor, just to let people know who lives there and to of course "network" with their fellow shipmates. I don't know if this happens on regular cruises, but it was definitely a funny highlight. Guys even made cruise cards (like business cards) complete with pictures, email addresses, phone numbers, and room numbers! We are some proactive thinkers, I tell ya.

- Gay men are all over the world! This cruise definitely attracted a large group of west-coast and US citizens. But there were strong contingencies from other places like Australia, Germany, UK, South America, and others. Meeting so many people in one place reminded me to keep an open mind about where I could possibly live in the future. Shout out to two special Brits who became our cruise family faves, Pieter and his bff Justine (yes they let ladies on the boat too). They were such a joy (especially during our impromptu encore tequila tasting bus ride before boarding the ship) and I can't wait to visit them some day soon.

- Finding love involves keeping an open mind and going with the flow. I'm a silly romantic. So, as fate would have it, of course I found a cruise crush :) We spent a lot of time together and I think I definitely made a new friend. He lives in another country and has a pretty settled life. But, who knows what will happen in the future. In the past I would have obsessed about things and made some flippant decisions to book my next flight to visit him. But, after a few days of returning to reality, I know that there are times in life when you should take a risk and times when you should wait things out and see where they go. More importantly, I believe we should learn something from every relationship we have in life. I definitely learned to remember that we all have other things in life that are more important to us than finding "love" that may take precedent at certain times. The key is to find as many ways possible for managing personal responsibilities to coincide with pursuing personal happiness.

And a few photos to wrap it up....