having brunch at one of my favorite places on the hill... Rose Bud on Pike
just left church service which is just down a couple blocks and heard a great sermon on the 'beattitudes" Matt 5. The interesting part of the sermon was the pastor read the passage from "The Message" translation and i came to tears during the entire reading.
A little context...
This past week was very intense and stressful for me at work. Not stressed in a bad way, but i felt challenged to learn more about the working culture of my department and those i work with, and everyday felt more and more like the 'new guy' at the table as we discussed various approaches to our work. No matter how many techniques we discuss about approaching our work with students, I have come to realize that my foundation for life is often very different from those i work with. i guess you can say i've felt more and more like a stranger or alien (a reference from I Peter). On the surface it appears that i am simply more focused on student development and less on purely productivity and the customer service aspect of my position/department. But no amount of time at the gym, yoga class, or consuming adult beverages could resolve this internal frustration i felt as the week came to a close.
Once the pastor read the passage at the beginning of his sermon I instantly realized the root of my pensiveness and began to silently weep out of a healthy dose of emotional relief. I was simply not recognizing the reality that no matter how challenging the circumstance i am blessed beyond belief...not because of my good works or efforts to be more student-focused, but because my motivation for being holistically excellent in my work is in response to a great and humbling reality. Read on and share your reflections if this passage resonates with you...
Matthew 5:1-16 (The Message translation)
1 When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down 2 and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:
3 "You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. 4 "You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. 5 "You're blessed when you're content with just who you are - no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought. 6 "You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat. 7 "You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'carefull,' you find yourselves cared for. 8 "You're blessed when you get your inside world - your mind and heart - put right. Then you can see God in the outside world. 9 "You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family. 10 "You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom. 11 "Not only that - count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. 12 You can be glad when that happens - give a cheer, even! - for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.
13 "Let me tell you why you are here. You're here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You've lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage. 14 "Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. 15 If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand. 16 Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand - shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
the art of self-dating :)
So, if you’re someone who’s been close to me in the past couple years, you probably know that I am admittedly a “serial dater”; not that I’m unable to or uninterested in anything long term, but more that I’m comfortable putting myself out there and taking the initial step to meet just about anyone of notable interest for the proverbial cup of coffee. And, yes, I do believe coffee dates are the ideal first date environments... Its quite simple, if you and the person really hit it off, you can chat for hours with interruption from the server asking if you’d like another glass of wine or interested in the dessert menu. On the other hand, if things just aren’t meshing (say the person weighs 30 lbs more than they did in their profile photos OR even better, you quickly realize they are a little more socially awkward and dorky than the geek chic you were hoping for) you can call it an early night and say your pleasantries after a solid 20 minutes and be on your way with much more money left in your wallet. So, needless to say, I go out several first and second dates on any given week. It’s actually quite refreshing to meet so many new faces in a 1-on-1 setting, especially since I’m a huge extrovert and love the art of communication ☺. PS: So far, my favorite coffee shops in Seattle are Bauhaus Coffee on Capitol Hill http://www.bauhauscoffee.net/ and Café Solstice on the Ave in the U-District (near UW’s campus) http://www.Cafesolstice.com.
But, on occasion, I find myself longing to just treat myself to a night alone. Not a night alone at home, although they are much appreciated, but rather a night out by myself. I did just that tonight. I went to one of my favorite bar/restaurants called Rose Bud on Capitol Hill. http://rosebud-restaurant.com/ They have the most savory bowl of macaroni with smoked gouda cheese, and the bartender makes a kick-ass bloody Mary. Plus, they have these cool windows that open inward and the the people sitting at the table to literally be inches away from people walking along the sidewalk. So, even though I’m eating alone, I still get to watch lots of people pass by and interact with the rest of the world. I was really excited about this self-date, because I also got to see a movie I’d been anticipating all weekend (I was stuck on-call this past weekend and couldn’t make it down to this indie theatre to check out the movie on opening night). After scraped my mac&cheese bowl and took my last sip of spicy tomato juice with a spirited kick, I headed around the block to the Egyptian theatre http://www.landmarktheatres.com/market/Seattle/EgyptianTheatre.htm and waited for the movie “Adam” to start. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1185836/ Writer/Director Max Mayer does a decent job of capturing the life of a young man who learns to live with a mild case of Asperger’s Syndrome and meets a woman in the building who eventually falls smitten to his rare and refreshing dose of genuine honesty. Yes, it’s a total chick flick, but I also thought it raised some interesting issues about falling in love and mental/developmental disorders. Of course the guy with Asperger’s with super attractive and the lovely woman who falls for him comes from an affluent background that would completely forbid her dating anyone but a rich investment banker who could add to the family’s wealth. I won’t spoil the movie for you. But I’d recommend checking it out if its showing in your area. I wish I could judge a movie based on whether it makes me cry, but sadly when I watch movies alone, I am a complete sap and find myself shedding tears and choking up over the simplest gestures or moments of romance in a film.
I don’t think there was anything profound about this particular self-date night, but I think I definitely prefer taking myself out to the movies, versus staying home to watch a movie alone. Sure, my couch is a bit more comfortable than a movie seat in a renovated theater, but there’s just something refreshing about treating myself to something other than a quiet night at home, and allowing myself to just be me and not worry about impressing someone or spending any energy wondering what the other person is thinking as we sit and watch a movie together. Plus at the end of the day, I’m the cheapest date I’ll probably ever have! LOL
But, on occasion, I find myself longing to just treat myself to a night alone. Not a night alone at home, although they are much appreciated, but rather a night out by myself. I did just that tonight. I went to one of my favorite bar/restaurants called Rose Bud on Capitol Hill. http://rosebud-restaurant.com/ They have the most savory bowl of macaroni with smoked gouda cheese, and the bartender makes a kick-ass bloody Mary. Plus, they have these cool windows that open inward and the the people sitting at the table to literally be inches away from people walking along the sidewalk. So, even though I’m eating alone, I still get to watch lots of people pass by and interact with the rest of the world. I was really excited about this self-date, because I also got to see a movie I’d been anticipating all weekend (I was stuck on-call this past weekend and couldn’t make it down to this indie theatre to check out the movie on opening night). After scraped my mac&cheese bowl and took my last sip of spicy tomato juice with a spirited kick, I headed around the block to the Egyptian theatre http://www.landmarktheatres.com/market/Seattle/EgyptianTheatre.htm and waited for the movie “Adam” to start. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1185836/ Writer/Director Max Mayer does a decent job of capturing the life of a young man who learns to live with a mild case of Asperger’s Syndrome and meets a woman in the building who eventually falls smitten to his rare and refreshing dose of genuine honesty. Yes, it’s a total chick flick, but I also thought it raised some interesting issues about falling in love and mental/developmental disorders. Of course the guy with Asperger’s with super attractive and the lovely woman who falls for him comes from an affluent background that would completely forbid her dating anyone but a rich investment banker who could add to the family’s wealth. I won’t spoil the movie for you. But I’d recommend checking it out if its showing in your area. I wish I could judge a movie based on whether it makes me cry, but sadly when I watch movies alone, I am a complete sap and find myself shedding tears and choking up over the simplest gestures or moments of romance in a film.
I don’t think there was anything profound about this particular self-date night, but I think I definitely prefer taking myself out to the movies, versus staying home to watch a movie alone. Sure, my couch is a bit more comfortable than a movie seat in a renovated theater, but there’s just something refreshing about treating myself to something other than a quiet night at home, and allowing myself to just be me and not worry about impressing someone or spending any energy wondering what the other person is thinking as we sit and watch a movie together. Plus at the end of the day, I’m the cheapest date I’ll probably ever have! LOL
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Why Seattle??
I’ve been asked this question by many people from my family & close friends to my interviewers (now colleagues) & nearly every person I’ve met since moving here. Some people ask in a tone that implies a bit of skepticism, others ask out bewilderment because they’ve never been exposed to the pacific northwest, but I’d like to believe most are just sincerely interested in my decision making process and wonder what’s so great about this city. So, I’ll try to sum up my answer in a few points:
- CITY LIFE- I’ve always wanted to live in a big city. I moved to Connecticut to attend graduate school five years ago and one of main attractions for me was living so close to Boston and Manhattan. Sadly, I only visited Boston 3-4 times in two years and step foot in Manhattan only twice ☹ Then once again, I accepted my first job in the bay area of California, because the campus I’d work for was only 40 miles south of San Francisco. I’m happy to report I had much more success venturing off to the city on a regular basis, but quickly found that a 40 mile drive usually meant at least an hour commute, which is not very conducive when you want to go out for the occasional adult beverage. Haha. So, needless to say, I was set on moving to an actual city for my next job. I looked at jobs in Chicago and NYC, but I recently visited Seattle last March for the 2nd time, and realized how much I enjoy the vibe of the city. I got to hear one of favorite hip-hop/R&B artist (Rafael Saddiq) and road on a bus to the downtown area everyday. Plus I got to wear a scarf and cap everyday (I love to wear scarfs and caps), but I wasn’t freezing my ass off. So, when I saw a job posted on higheredjobs.com for the University of Washington, I decided to just go for it.
- COFFEE SHOPS- People drink more coffee in Seattle than anywhere in the world…haha OK, I’m not sure that’s a fact, but lets just say the first Starbucks is located here. And you can’t walk two blocks without passing by some type of coffee establishment. I like coffee, but more than that I like coffee shops, mostly because it’s a great place to people watch. Not in a creepy way, but in a reflective way. Its one of the few places you can see business folks meeting to prep for a presentation sitting next to a homeless guy taking a break with his loyal canine companion resting by his side. These images make me realize more that the world does not revolve about me, but rather I am simply playing my role in this production we call “life”.
- WEST COAST ATTITUDE- As many of you know, I grew up in Birmingham, Alabama in a completely homogenous neighborhood. I grew up in a Black world and every aspect of life was seen through the lense of a black man in America. It wasn’t until I was a sophomore in high school that I began to participate in activities that involved people from “over the mountain” and I from that point I’ve had this constant desire to see new places and interact with people different than myself…only to eventually find out there are more similarities than differences between us, if we are willing to spend some time getting to know each other. Moving to the northeast was fun, but I found the people and the communities there to be…well….lets just say more rigid than I was expecting. Most people were very friendly and opened up if you were willing to get over the wall they automatically had up as a natural form of defense. The west coast, by far, is the most eclectic and diverse place I’ve ever lived, and I just couldn’t lose that aspect by moving to Chicago or NYC. So, again, Seattle rose to the top of my list as an ideal location. More than that, I have developed some strong ties with folks in California and didn’t want to move too far from them. So, even though I’m no longer there, I’m only a 2-hour flight away…hint hint ☺
- CONNECTING WITH A TRUE COMMUNITY- Finally, Seattle (and other large cities) stood out as a good place for me, because I wanted to find community with people like me. Growing up in the inner city, I missed the idea of attending a church in the middle of city. Once I moved away to college, I attended primarily churches in small towns or in suburbia, all hoping to have an impact on the nearby city/campus of course... yet comfortably nestled in a conveniently quiet neat clean sanctuary away from the madness of it all. As an evangelical Christian, I’d like to worship in a church that is located in the epicenter of the city and reaching to people from all walks of life. Urban cities are the best place to reach those business men and that homeless guy I spoke of earlier. So, I’m looking forward to finding a community of believers to connect with as I continue to engage in the greater community of Seattle.
- COMING OUT, INTO MY OWN… Finally, in addition to connecting with a Christian community, I was very excited about living in a city I could become an active member of the GLBTQ community. If you don’t know what those letters stand for, they represent the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer community. If you are a facebook friend, you’ve probably picked up on the subtle (and some not-so-subtle) hints that I’ve recently made the choice to come out as a gay man. If not, I guess you know now ☺. I’ve struggled for years trying to figure out why and how I was oriented this way. And after several years of praying to God to ask him to “change” me, I realized his answer was “you have already been changed when you first believed in me”. During these years of struggling and praying I became increasingly depressed and felt despair about life, that I would never be “normal” and never be able to effect change in the world as Christian, if I had this issue. The church (as an institution) has not helped in this regard, so the more I “fought this desire” and tried to increase my involvement in the church, I realized I’d have to spend a lifetime living a double life. In fact, when I moved to Cali, for the first two years I had 3 lives: my work life, my church life, and my gay life. I built great friendships in all three lives, but I rarely let them know about the other two areas. It wasn’t until my 27 birthday party, that I invited all my coworkers and all my closest gay friends to dinner together. There were over 30 people there! It was so relieving to see everyone interact with each other and share stories about how they got to know me. Obviously, I never incorporated my “gay life” into my “church life”. Although I did make strides by opening up to my pastor and surprisingly received a great amount of loving support. Leading a triple life can be very exhausting and it made the depression over time increase exponentially. So, I resolved in the past year, that I would begin to merge my different lives and find a place to live where I could be openly gay…openly Christian… OPENLY DAVID to everyone I encountered. To some that may seem like a gay Christian may sound like an oxymoron, but trust me… I know in whom I have believed and pray everyday that He’ll use me to make a difference in the world for his kingdom sake. I don’t quite know yet where this journey will take me, but I’m very excited about what is yet to come!
WHEWWW… ok I said it! So, feel free to email me with any questions. For the most part I’m an open book. ☺
Thanks for reading my really long first entry…
Cheers!
~dd
- CITY LIFE- I’ve always wanted to live in a big city. I moved to Connecticut to attend graduate school five years ago and one of main attractions for me was living so close to Boston and Manhattan. Sadly, I only visited Boston 3-4 times in two years and step foot in Manhattan only twice ☹ Then once again, I accepted my first job in the bay area of California, because the campus I’d work for was only 40 miles south of San Francisco. I’m happy to report I had much more success venturing off to the city on a regular basis, but quickly found that a 40 mile drive usually meant at least an hour commute, which is not very conducive when you want to go out for the occasional adult beverage. Haha. So, needless to say, I was set on moving to an actual city for my next job. I looked at jobs in Chicago and NYC, but I recently visited Seattle last March for the 2nd time, and realized how much I enjoy the vibe of the city. I got to hear one of favorite hip-hop/R&B artist (Rafael Saddiq) and road on a bus to the downtown area everyday. Plus I got to wear a scarf and cap everyday (I love to wear scarfs and caps), but I wasn’t freezing my ass off. So, when I saw a job posted on higheredjobs.com for the University of Washington, I decided to just go for it.
- COFFEE SHOPS- People drink more coffee in Seattle than anywhere in the world…haha OK, I’m not sure that’s a fact, but lets just say the first Starbucks is located here. And you can’t walk two blocks without passing by some type of coffee establishment. I like coffee, but more than that I like coffee shops, mostly because it’s a great place to people watch. Not in a creepy way, but in a reflective way. Its one of the few places you can see business folks meeting to prep for a presentation sitting next to a homeless guy taking a break with his loyal canine companion resting by his side. These images make me realize more that the world does not revolve about me, but rather I am simply playing my role in this production we call “life”.
- WEST COAST ATTITUDE- As many of you know, I grew up in Birmingham, Alabama in a completely homogenous neighborhood. I grew up in a Black world and every aspect of life was seen through the lense of a black man in America. It wasn’t until I was a sophomore in high school that I began to participate in activities that involved people from “over the mountain” and I from that point I’ve had this constant desire to see new places and interact with people different than myself…only to eventually find out there are more similarities than differences between us, if we are willing to spend some time getting to know each other. Moving to the northeast was fun, but I found the people and the communities there to be…well….lets just say more rigid than I was expecting. Most people were very friendly and opened up if you were willing to get over the wall they automatically had up as a natural form of defense. The west coast, by far, is the most eclectic and diverse place I’ve ever lived, and I just couldn’t lose that aspect by moving to Chicago or NYC. So, again, Seattle rose to the top of my list as an ideal location. More than that, I have developed some strong ties with folks in California and didn’t want to move too far from them. So, even though I’m no longer there, I’m only a 2-hour flight away…hint hint ☺
- CONNECTING WITH A TRUE COMMUNITY- Finally, Seattle (and other large cities) stood out as a good place for me, because I wanted to find community with people like me. Growing up in the inner city, I missed the idea of attending a church in the middle of city. Once I moved away to college, I attended primarily churches in small towns or in suburbia, all hoping to have an impact on the nearby city/campus of course... yet comfortably nestled in a conveniently quiet neat clean sanctuary away from the madness of it all. As an evangelical Christian, I’d like to worship in a church that is located in the epicenter of the city and reaching to people from all walks of life. Urban cities are the best place to reach those business men and that homeless guy I spoke of earlier. So, I’m looking forward to finding a community of believers to connect with as I continue to engage in the greater community of Seattle.
- COMING OUT, INTO MY OWN… Finally, in addition to connecting with a Christian community, I was very excited about living in a city I could become an active member of the GLBTQ community. If you don’t know what those letters stand for, they represent the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer community. If you are a facebook friend, you’ve probably picked up on the subtle (and some not-so-subtle) hints that I’ve recently made the choice to come out as a gay man. If not, I guess you know now ☺. I’ve struggled for years trying to figure out why and how I was oriented this way. And after several years of praying to God to ask him to “change” me, I realized his answer was “you have already been changed when you first believed in me”. During these years of struggling and praying I became increasingly depressed and felt despair about life, that I would never be “normal” and never be able to effect change in the world as Christian, if I had this issue. The church (as an institution) has not helped in this regard, so the more I “fought this desire” and tried to increase my involvement in the church, I realized I’d have to spend a lifetime living a double life. In fact, when I moved to Cali, for the first two years I had 3 lives: my work life, my church life, and my gay life. I built great friendships in all three lives, but I rarely let them know about the other two areas. It wasn’t until my 27 birthday party, that I invited all my coworkers and all my closest gay friends to dinner together. There were over 30 people there! It was so relieving to see everyone interact with each other and share stories about how they got to know me. Obviously, I never incorporated my “gay life” into my “church life”. Although I did make strides by opening up to my pastor and surprisingly received a great amount of loving support. Leading a triple life can be very exhausting and it made the depression over time increase exponentially. So, I resolved in the past year, that I would begin to merge my different lives and find a place to live where I could be openly gay…openly Christian… OPENLY DAVID to everyone I encountered. To some that may seem like a gay Christian may sound like an oxymoron, but trust me… I know in whom I have believed and pray everyday that He’ll use me to make a difference in the world for his kingdom sake. I don’t quite know yet where this journey will take me, but I’m very excited about what is yet to come!
WHEWWW… ok I said it! So, feel free to email me with any questions. For the most part I’m an open book. ☺
Thanks for reading my really long first entry…
Cheers!
~dd
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